~~Feeling Down~~
although the day is approaching..its only like less than 24hrs time to arrive, but to me right nw,i cant seem to make myself to be in the mood to enjoy to be in the right mood.. since v v v long ago, i've been wanting to have a very happy day in the whole of yr, celebrating with lotsa frens, families, everyone whom knws me..but i doubt this day will ever come, maybe till the last day of my life in this world it might nt be able to realise. I've wanted this gathering is just to make an excuse for myself to not be alone, not feeling lonely, having ppl crowding arnd me enjoying themselves, smiling @ least, laughing @ all sortsa things...pls...everyone..pls enjoy tmr..i'll be uptmost happy to see all the bright teeths in front of my face.
suddenly, im feeling...down? or rather, im feeling sad..i dunno whether i shld post this up. I've been having insomia for quite sometimes..maybe a feel close wans would be able to knw the actual reason and the occurances of this matter. I've been drinking alot recently, just to "numb" myself frm all the evil tots, avoiding the facts...all i want was just a smile of recognition. Is it too much for me to ask for? or am i being too much of a request? i've lotsa thoughts on this gathering, i would like to spend every single cent of mine to make it the best of all best to let everyone who knws me knws that enen is a person whom's chalet is always the best to go for to hide or to throw away all their unhappiness..pls get me drunk tmr..thank you in advance, i came to realise that only after drinking, i'll be more relaxed, all my muscles not as tensed up, my heart will be more open, although there has been times that i'm drunk but still sober, thinkings became so much more clearer, and i've to face my probs deep in nights where nobody is awake to get me out of the tots..
yes. im not s strong s i've always portrait to u all, sometimes, crying might be a good way out to relieve frm all stress, but...i've forgotten hw long ago that i've forgotten hw to cry..hw to cry w/o holding back my tears... b4 ah fat walked into my life, viv has always been the person hearing my probs..but viv, i wanna let u knw, u r still playing a very impt role in my life, a role that no new frens can ever replace, for all the things that u've walked with me b4 in the past, our growing up stage, our funs, laughters, carefree lifes, ups & downs, everything, in fact...apart frm ah fat, u're the only person whom gets to see me...totally lost of direction dunno wat to do..5 yrs ago..its a nightmare that i never would want it to happen again..
Nightmare, in a maze that i'm not able to walk out alone, the plaster that u gave me, with hearts on it... i hope that you'll nv need to buy them for me anymore, ever again in the rest of my life..
but somehow, recently, i've this fear...that wat happened 5 yrs ago, might have to let me go thru again...once more..i'm no longer that strong enuff to walk thru them anymore. I just wan to lock myself up..nv to be found...
LOVES TO ALL
// my mind full of you!~
~~ M.O.S~~
19.06.06-20.06.06
Nite @ M.O.S
Heard that this place is the "best" clubbing place in sg @ the moment...seriously...if u nv go n look for urself, u might find that its bluff...first impression...wah..like damn grand...not like last time those "disco" area got those ah bengs, ah lians, ah watever to spoil the whole nite..ppl there are more cultivated and are actually more fun seeking. Maybe time hav changed? nowadays, clubbing is more like looking for opp. sex's target. Hahahahahahaha, sounded abit crude but serious!!!! u see~~ppl there dressed up into two main catergories (1) casual smart looking to attract ppl's look (2) skimmpy clothings which also knwn as revealing and the main purpose is to?? let guys get their eyes gouged @ the (.)(.) Hahahahhahaha...
but den hor, must be carefulz..y?? cos the place is too dim, due to poor lightings and noise level too high, plus alcohol consumption, u tend to have difficulty in differentiating those he-womans and real womans. I'm shocked n stunned to see so many of he-woman and bestest part is? they wear so much more revealing than real womans and figure is way so much better than real womans..damnit..jealous..angry, ang mohs tends to look @ those "gals" and even went out with them after that!!! i wonder hw they'll react if they were sober the nxt morning..hahahahahhaahaha..."argh~~~~wat have i done????%@%#$#^#" hahahaa...think too much liaoz..
well..overall the place IS fun..noisy, mad, crazy ppl all arnd u, drunkards here n there esp outside the club..cos last nite i get to see lotsa "corposes" outside which the police went forward to demand for search..tot they high on drugs.. and oh ya!!! the most impt part forgot to update!!! yesterday according to da mi, seems like jacky chan is in there too!!! cos she kinda like saw it..hmm..old man clubbing too?! suddenly i can only remember his stupid stunts act in his movies..hahaha...running here n there those types..lamo...
basically, amie is damn high last nite (although not drunk) was as crazy as ever~ but i was on opp. cos tooooooo slpy plus eye pain..hahah..so didnt really have much energy to "shake" ahahahha..we've got quite a few pics taken by da mi's camera..quite nice de..hahaha...will wait for her to send me n to publish for u guys..hmmm..maybe when one is half drunk looks nicer?!
ok...im still not in the good clear mind to blog...ZZZzzzz
pics @ MOS...crazy ppls
**Queen of Devils**
**Crazy Sis + Queen**
**Queen + Chris (no special names...zzzz)**
**Queen + Princess Mario (no idea y queen gave tat name???)**
**princess + queen in the egg looking comfy ... seat? chair? watever..**
**Crazy sisters!!! (used to be knwn as sayo & nara)**
**ya la ya la...act lah...**
** See hw enjoyable Qeen is**
** Half-dead **
** crazy sisters (im not sure where's my focus..ahhahaha)**
** better....hahaha**
** queen's whole nite pose is e same...y?? cos of e RING mah!!!!**
** both enjoying @ the comfortable...TOILET!!!!**
**starring :
me - Princess Mario
amie - Queen of devils
Michelle aka da mi aka dua eh aka ...ZZzzzzz - crazy sister!!!
** special appearance :
chris chong - chris chong
// my mind full of you!~
~~Feelings In a Mess~~
firstly, i apologise for not updating my blog that often alrdy..cos i've got nothing much to write..cos not really in the mood recently..dunno y..maybe..lotsa things...my work, relationship, family, friendships, ppl all arnd me?
that day..i was all alone..@ alley bar...drinking..didnt meet up with anyone..cos just had a tiff with my mom..since dunno when...whenever it is near my bday..we'll quarrel..i guess..im e only one whom celebrates bday..tearing..i still remember that on my 21st bday...all turned well..lotsa ppl helped me..that day i got lotsa crew members..ah fat was one of them..he did alot..in helping making the bday chalet came true..but..its just..something is lacking..no family members @ all..hahaha..well..when i saw ppl's family happily celebrating their bday...i feel so...envious..even after yrs of finding out y they dislike celebration for bday..i still cant accept the fact..where got parent like that?! Although i knw...its for my own good...but i just, want a simple celebration with them .. but neh..its nv coming to come true..so over the yrs...i learnt...not to celebrate bday with family..no need..i wont die..i still got ah fat..and my die hard crews n guests...ahhahaha..all of them whom attended and make the chalet or bbq everytime coming true...i got so many ppl to replace their positions..im more than happy..can get drunk..can smoke like nobody business..can crap...can laugh so hard till i hit the floor..but dunno y..everytime when the "show" ends..im back to not smiling...
okie...enuff of sad past..life goes on...with or w/o...the world goes on spinning...
talk abt something funny...or maybe happy..my bday celebration cum gathering is coming soon..looking forward for it sia...going to make it happy...actually i didnt intend to have any cakes..but ah fat say his fren can help bake cakes..hahah...and ask for design..so i gave his fren a mission impossible..wahahha..hopefully that day all of u will be impressed with my talents..i mean idea and his talents...hahhaha...b4 this bday celebration thingy starts rolling..there are a few ppl that i've to thank first..
(1) my crews - jackson, eddie, adel, yiyi, kat, ah fat, jiawah, noelle, mandy, lai...ok...actually...everyone is my crew..hahahahahhahaaaahahhahahahahah...
(2) guests - those whom will make effort n time to come n be happy with me...wahahahahahahah
(3) chef for baking the mission impossible cake - ah fat's ex-camp-mate malcom
(4) choon liang - the person whom stunned me with lotsa lotsa funny funny ideas...like..cake knife with ribbon..ahhahahahaa
that day's prepration is alrdy like...7788...oh ya..and then hor..must tell u all one sad news...hahaha...that day i was saying.."wah..my bday like going to be so happy...enjoyable...memorable..but hor...like lack of flowers..."
immed after my sentence..asshole reply.."no flowers this yrs..waste $"
TMD~~~~
but doesnt means u ppl gotta buy me flower...cos i buay gian liaoz...wahahahha...
ReLaTonShp....
Recently, seems cursed....lotsa ppl arnd me seems to be troubled by the word..relationship..
suddenly quite a few of my friends came to meet up n told me abt this relationships on the rock..quarrels..tiffs..haiz..wat can i do...listen..im a good listener..customer service mah...bo bian...ahahhhah...but then..it made me realise something..being together is impt to have mutual trust, same direction, and the guy..must love the gf, cherish her, even though she might be wrong sometimes..but not to give up a r/s so easily by saying break - ups...cos this is not a right of guys...it belongs to woman..a woman can say 100 times of break - up but the r/s is still there...once the guy said just once..even if he said in fit of anger of loose mind, its a death-trap....the gal...will be..awaken by this n .. let go off the r/s...even if the r/s has been arnd for yrs...
sometimes i really find ah fat is a nice person (i knw...lotsa ppl say to me...pls stop..he'll fall off mid sky..) i simply can tell that he's good to me, dotes me, giving in to me, watever i wan will give me, freedom, protection, even if i were to meet up with ex-bfs he's fine with it..cos we have mutual trust...both of us (cos he knws nobody else wans me ... *vice versa* **grinz**)
i do cherish the time n everything that we've gone thru..but sometimes..he's a PEST to me..feels like spraying baygon on him!!!! get rid of him!!!
argh~~~i shall end here.
// my mind full of you!~
~~Birthday Coming Soon~~
heee...as u guys knw..my bday is coming soon..suddenly have a tot of posting a bday wishlist...wahhahah..wat i practical?! i'm just making life easier for ppl whom will start asking me qns like.." wat would u like for bday???" then i can just say..." pls refer to my blog...wahahahha"
~~Bday Wishlist~~
A Samsung E900
A guess watch...got alternative color leh..
The black color version..both suits me damn well...hahah
This is the matching bag of my new added on jacket frm adidas~~~
A bday cake of the shape of crown..makes me like the ~~~princess~~~ (only meant for ah fat to see)
Hahahaha..actually i dun mind even if w/o present..ultimately the purpose i hold this is to have a gathering, cos i find it damn difficult to gather ALL on the same day...and to give them valid reason, lol...its my bday~~~~~~~~~ so seriously no present no problem...but no presence....u'll get it...
Just in case got ppl wanna buy things for me...plssssss dun buy cig case, lighters etc...tks u...."gam xia" many many... u have a choice of necklace, naval studs, bags (adidas got one limited edition v nice white color avail @ the chinablack branch but cant get the photo), wallets, shades...all are ok with me...but pls...no more of cig case nor lighter...my hse can open exihibition liaoz..wahahhahahah....tarz~~~~
// my mind full of you!~
~~Work Sucks~~
10th & 11th july i went both days on mc...utterly no mood to work..as all of u shld knw, i'm sick this job already..but left with no choice but to continue..wanted to quit so much but it just keeps haunting me that its not worthy to quit just rite nw..cos in a short few mths time, i'll complete 2 12mths contract n is able to get my so call as aws ... although i really hate to bring myself to work upon seeing all the shit things happening, but i really not willing to bcos of such things give up my hard earned $$..hahaha..egos..well..i quite enjoyed my days..spent my whole of 10th with ah fat..wonderful day...slackers life..since a long time nv spent this kinda life with him liaoz...11th, i was out meeting an old friend..small friend..GNP...for some of u whom might not knw who he is, he's my former colleague in samsung svc centre..he's..small in size...like small kid..so all of us there call him small friend..but then i find this nick too common so i changed to call him GNP in short for gin nah pi..hahaha...well i think he likes the name though..we met @ east coast..chatting, catching up bla bla, enjoying the "breeze & sunbath" lol...i make it sounded as though its so enjoyable but its abit too hot n humid in fact..after that we went to The Cathay to catch a show..but b4 i jump to that part, the travelling part frm east coast to The Cathay is the funny part...well...he rides bike..but then...he so SMALL!!!! its like...omg!!!!! he offered a ride but i still feel uneasy cos its like .. no safe to let someone so small in size to ride me places to places..wahaha..the last time i rode a bike was with jiawah, his repsol..wahha...that mad guy fren of mine..we purposely wake each other up @ arnd 6+7am during poly lifes just to disturb n go out for breakfast..its bo liaoz..really...but quite fun la..cuz thse were the days that cannot be back..in the end i still took his ride....its sooooo scary n dangerous...cos i fear most to crush him..wahahah...in the end we arrived @ The Cathay safe n sound..phew...wanted to watch the chinese ghost film "re-cycle", but i think i saw the wrong venue...timing of 3.05pm is only avail @ cathay...cineleisure...Zzzz...but then..@ The Cathay, there's a show that happens to be on air @ 3.05pm too!!!! well...its definately not the same show...its..."the superman returns"..wahhahah,,anyone of u watched the show yet?? its so funny, the superman changed costumes...the briefs are no longer that bright red & its no longer triangle shape...its like boxers liaoz..waahha...haiz...there goes my movie ever since so long...went to sch straight after that...first lesson for the term..first lesson learning LAW...biz law...sian...but ok la...not as bored as thought of...cos @ least i still got a classmate there..time flies damn fast when u r studying..it was time to go back and went hm straight...bath ...n concussion...
**********************************THE END**************************************
// my mind full of you!~
~~Sch reopens~~
its sch reopening time for tdy...haiz~~~ this sem i'll be taking up biz law & information system..didnt knw a single shit abt it...but i heard from ppl that both of them are actually theory based papers...haiz~~~my brain is so tiny alrdy, only 512MB space still wanna squeeze all these into it...it'll kill me...lolz~~~ tats y i told my mom that most of the china students in class, bring their voice recording thing to record the lessons throughout and went back hm to listen through again as revision..and u knw wat? my mom say she'll buy me one of the recorder~~ wahahha...i browsed thru the models..all too ex and i dun bare to pay for them..cos only 1 function..for wat..only for studies...buy so ex then in the end cannot use for other things..haiz..
so..i looked for alternatives...mp3 players that can have recordings too~~~~ master lai intro me some players...no brands ...but still as good...so...finally on sun i got this ipod nano lookalike mp3 player!!!! wahahha...getting it @ $150 for 2GB!!!! woooo!!! if i were to get a real ipod nano, i dun think i can afford it with $150~~~not bad lo..erm..really look so alike and then erm...have mp3,mp4, fm, voice recording, can view txt, can play games..wty of 1 yr..wat more can i ask for..waaahha..its foc anyway..im gonna use it tnight...for my class...will keep u guys updated to let u knw hw well this mini little thing works for me...:) oh ya...i got the black color wans..hee....its something that works well for me..pricing wise is reasonable..cos most imptly my mom pays for it..didnt want her to pay too high price..Omg~~~i've changed to be a better person!!! to think i didnt chop her carrot head...wahahha...i think its bcos of ACCA...they say that accountants are the MOST niao person in this world...wahahahhaha..
// my mind full of you!~
~~Damn Damn Angry With USELESS Aunties @ Work~~
First day of work for july nia...this place these particular AUNTIES makes me DULAN!!!!!
1st day of work (mon): mc...
2nd day (tues): came to work and got SHIT @ work!!! AUNTIE @ my section just throw SHIT to me...its a SHIT that doesnt even bothers her!!! she should be assigning it to me in the first place and not TRY to handle on her own..cos she dun even knws anything abt it!!! this is really some shit work that i handled for the past few months and nobody knws better than me~~~argh~~~nevertheless...she just pissed me off...simple things that took me 5mins to be done and get over it, it took for ONE BLOODY WHOLE DAY and cant get the things resolved!!! nvm...she still dare to raise this case to the new supervisor!!! and the best thing is our new supervisor knws NUTS abt this!!!! argh~~~ in the end the supervisor only say..." enen..so u handling this case rite? when u done get back to me.."
wah lauz~!!!! might as well i just do on my own!!!!!!
sick and tired of this bloody stupid place...i wanna quit and move on...
// my mind full of you!~